Love Quotes

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

-Albert Einstein

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands.
-Dudley Moore

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.
-Joyce Brothers

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-Walt Disney

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
- Anonymous

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit; I’ll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
- Mother Theresa

The best proof of love is trust.
Joyce Brothers

True love never lives happily ever after - true love has no ending.
K. Knight

For each February 14th the Washington Post newspaper holds a Valentine’s Day competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but…. then the contributors add the least romantic second line.

• Valentine’s Sayings which involve Humor and Lies
  I thought that I could love no other
  Until, that is, I met your brother
• Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
  But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head
• Of loving beauty you float with grace
  If only you could hide your face
• Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
  This describes everything you are not
• I want to feel your sweet embrace
  But don’t take that paper bag off of your face
• I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
  damn; I’m good at telling lies!
• I see your face when I am dreaming.
  That’s why I always wake up screaming
• My love, you take my breath away.
  What have you stepped in to smell this way?
• My feelings for you no words can tell
  Except for maybe ‘Go To Hell’
• What inspired this amorous rhyme?
  Two parts vodka, one part lime…

Valentine Jokes

Meaning of Dreams
a young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day.
What do you think it means?”
“You shall know tonight”, he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it. She found a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams”.

Guess Who?
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter systematically pasting “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying each envelope.

The guy’s curiosity gets the better of him and he walks up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’”
“But why?” asks the guy.
The man replies, “I’m a divorce lawyer.”

Valentine for Osama
Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learnt about the history of Valentine’s Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is celebrated for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” he asks, “will God get mad at me for giving someone else a valentine?”
David’s father thinks a bit, then says, “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”
“Osama Bin Laden,” David says.
“Why Osama Bin Laden?” his father asks in shock.
“Well,” David says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he’d love everyone a lot. And then he’d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.”
His father’s heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride and says, “David, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.”
!”

I did not realize that those were people hanging from the bridge. I’m surprised, but certainly not impressed. I hope the G20 will live up to positive expectations and produce not just global conversations but solutions to deal with local and global issues.